done trying

If you had the chance to do it all over again would you?

Cause I would, this meant something more to me than i had imagined

But I feel less of a person because of you.

I know we're complete strangers now.

We both pretend like we don't care, but I can feel the tension as much as you can.

And you I miss you.

Not in some cheesy, let's hold hands and be together forever sort of way.

I just miss you.

I miss your presence in my life. 

And I don’t know what hurts more, thinking I hate you or knowing  I don't...?

But now I’m officially done trying.

You’re just not worth it anymore.

I figured if you want me in your life, you know where to find me.

Until then, just continue treating me like I don’t exist, like it never happened.

The problem is while I’m writing these words, while I’m saying I don’t care, the look in my eyes tells a completely different story.

 It's not a big deal.                                                                        

Really, break my heart.

Let me down.

Make me cry cause you "care"...right?

And what scares me the most is that after all this, after all the disappointment, the tears and the hurt, if I had the chance, I would take you back in a heartbeat.

But meanwhile, I have to move on, let go of the past even if letting go is the easy part and moving on is painful.

Though I fight it, trying to keep things the same, things can’t stay the same.

At some point I will just have to let it go.

Move on.

Because no matter how painful it is, it’s the only way we grow.

say to you

I planned to say all these terrible things to you, but in the end, I just want to tell you miss you. – 

i'm not mad

I'm not mad, I'm really not I just wish you could know how much I cared. What all I would have done for you. What all I fucking still would do. But I've come to a point where these feelings don't overpower me any longer. I've come to be free of your hold but I just wish you could have known all I went through just for you.

lookin back

lookin back i wish i had said yes
i always thought that we woud have a lot of occasions so at that moment when you asked me if you would come upstairs, i did the most reasonable thing at the time.
i said no
not that i didn't want to but cause at that very moment it wasn't right
but now i don't care. i now know that i shouldn"t have followed my head

happy alone

you've chosen her

I hope the sun shines. Hope it's a beautiful day. I hope something reminds you of me, and how I wish you had stayed. We can plan for change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you to stop loving me. cause I'll never stop loving you. The moment, you told me. you've chosen her. I'm not even upset, hurt or angry anymore. I'm just tired. tired of being the second choice of yours. I'm tired of putting in more effort than I receive. I'm tired of holding on for someone who I shouldn't have love. I'm tired of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed again. someday, when you asked me, "do you still love me?" I'll say " I used to love you more than everyone does". and I wish I still did

Her eyes don't light up

Her eyes don't light up when she hears your name anymore. She doesn't get chills when you walk by her and her heart doesn't race when you smile at her. You don't get to her like you used to. You're just a bad memory in the back of her mind. So don't be suprised next time you make your way past her and she doesn't even glance your way. And don't bother trying to talk to her, you won't get a response. She's over fighting the same loosing battle. The saddest part is that you have no one to blame but yourself. She gave you every chance you could have asked for and you messed up every time. Now she walks around with nothing but a smile on her face and she laughs louder then ever before. Looks like you lost her bro

lied to myself

you can't bullshit me.

See I've lied to myself enough to know when someone else is doing it.

So let's try this again, and how about the truth this time?

advice

Most of us ask for advice when we know the answer already but we want another one.

best memories

The best memories are the ones that you try to explain and you just end up saying: “You just had to be there."

truly

At one point, your heart has to choose between the one you have always loved & the one you truly love

beating for

And I've been dying to know; who's your heart beating for?

what (n)ever happened

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of us. And what happened between us.
Or, really, what never happened between us.

I know it's wrong, i just wish it wasn't

toy

I get it
I'm the girl you run to when you're alone
And it's ok cause that's my fault
I never set the rules to our 'friendship'
I just wish you would stop using me like i'm a toy 

we can't

You know i'd really like to be friends but we can't
It's not that i don't want to cause talking to you, even as friends would mean the world to me
But 3 years ago when we met; we jumped immediately in it
So what you're trying here, the being friends part, it won't worked cause we never were friends to start with.

things

Sometimes things happen.
Things happen even when you don’t intend them to happen.
Maybe at the beginning you had good intentions, or no intentions, or intentions you thought were harmless.
But before you knew it things got out of your control.

stuck waiting for him

I think the problem is that I am stuck waiting for him to do something, to make a move, to say the perfect thing.
And the problem is that I shouldn't be that girl, the one who sits and waits for him.
I should be independent.
I should think clearly and consistently without having my mind jump straight back to him.
Yeah, falling for someone like that is the hardest thing to do. 
And the stupidest thing is that what's standing in my way is fear of losing him, the fear of rejection,the fear that I might lose a friend that means everything to me.

meant for you

Someday we’ll know why I wasn’t meant for you

the heart to hurt you

I don't have the heart to hurt you but it's easier than loving you with all my soul. 
Cause in the end we'll both get hurt.

it's perfectly normal

Of course you'll miss him; it's perfectly normal: because he has been a major part of your life.
It's like getting a tooth pulled out; after the dentist pulls it out, you're relieved.
But how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was?
Probably a hundred times a day.
Just because it was hurting you does not mean you don't notice it.
It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly.
It's going to take a while, but it takes time.
Should you have kept the tooth?
No, because it was causing you pain.
Pulling the tooth was the right decision.

how much pain

It’s amazing, really, just how much pain the human heart can take..

pretending

Doesn't it feel so awkward seeing him in the hallway & pretending you don't see him?

tooth fairy

the tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell their body parts for money.
i blame her for prostitution.

would you?

in front of total strangers, would you kiss me? 
Call me for no reason.. just because you miss me? 
So I say a thousand stupid things, and half the time I never mean them but this time I'm serious. 
I'm never going to talk to you first. So if I mean anything, anything at all to you, then you can talk to me because I give up.

the good life

it's laughing with your friend at a time when you shouldn't. 
it's the sweat in your palms wanting to know someone you see and the pit in your stomach when they actually see you. 
it's being touched by hands that aren't your own. 
it's the thrill of an escape that almost wasn't. 
it's the embarrassment you feel, naked for the first time. 
it's helping a friend find something they lost. 
it's a smile, a joke, a song. 
it's what someone does that they like doing. 
it's what someone does that they like remembering. 
it's the thinking of things you may never do and the doing of things you may never have thought. 
it's the road ahead and the road behind.
it's the first step and the last and every one in between, because they all make up the good life

happy & fulfilling times

Do you miss him at the most happy & fulfilling times of your life?
Just because you miss him when the world is quiet & you feel alone doesn't mean you love him.
You will miss anyone when you're lonely.
It's when your life is going great & you still feel that ache in your heart because he isn't there to see the genuine smile on your face & happiness in your life

catch me?

All of a sudden it hit me. I’m always the one attempting to catch people when they fall.
Now I’m beginning to wonder who's going to catch me?

maybe

And maybe after this we'll never see each other again.
And maybe we will.
And maybe I'll meet up with you again in ten years.
Or maybe twenty. 
And maybe you'll still be single.
Or married. 
And maybe I'll be as well. 
And maybe you'll ask me if I want to go for coffee. 
And maybe I will. 
Or maybe I won't because it could bring up old feelings again. 
But for now, I'm not gonna worry about the maybes or the what-ifs; I'm just going to continue living my life the best way I can.

meant to

Maybe some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together

miss being young

Truth is; we all miss being young. There was no worry about love, or worrying if your hair looked bad.
Or if your socks had holes or odd colors.
You never once thought of your best friend cheating with your boyfriend.
Never thought you would witness deaths.
All that came to your mind was if you were smart enough to tie your shoe laces.
or if your friend would be mad at you for saying something.
Chasing those boys around trying to hug them and of course them running away, Simply because they liked you back..
When we finally realized what life was all about, it was to late because we were already hurting.

by another guys side

It’s crazy how he cant bear to see me by another guys side, but doesn’t want me right by his.

after you graduate

I hate how people think after you graduate that we'll never see these people again. 
These people are the ones who know us better than anybody else.
We played recess and gym with these kids.
We had art and music with them too. 
These are the people who we did school projects with and rushed to get our homework done right before class with.
These might have also been the kids we made fun of or judged, but when we leave, we'll remember them and we'll miss them.
The quiet kid, the shy kid, the outgoing kid and the clown.
They all will be missed.
Even you!

sin differently

don't jugde someone just because they sin differently than you

lose

never let your happiness be dependent on something you can lose

one day

It took her one day to fall in love and 365 days to fall out of it.

An unpleasant character

There is such a certain character in films and series. An unpleasant character.  A supporting role that leads the female leading rol on. The female leading role knows she deserves better, but she continues to return to the asshole supporting role. She does her best to convince him that she is the love of his life. He does his best to get her away as soon as he has got what he wanted. He's a tactless, disrespectful dick who knows she has a fear of loneliness, that she has no other choice than always returning to him. To be used and abused. Because that is the only affection she gets. And sir, she longs for affection so hard, that it erodes

risk our friendship

-          Why didn’t you tell me?

-          How could i? When he kissed me I didn’t know you guys had history and frankly we weren’t friends yet. And when we became friends, you started telling me about him and I was surprised. I didn’t know what to say and after a while I just stopped thinking about him. It was in my past and I didn’t want to risk our friendship for something that stupid. He wasn’t worth it. Telling the truth meant losing you and I need you as my friend so I lied. That doesn’t make be a good person but I just made a wrong decision that I tried to forget about.

more satisfaction than pain

I realized that when you’re the only one working hard for something it isn’t worth it.

And if you’re working THAT hard you just have to let go and find something else to fight for.

Something that gives you more satisfaction than pain

You happened

-          What happened? One moment we were talking about prom and the summer and the other you were as cold as the ice queen.

-          You happened. You had these big plans for us. You saw us together a year from now and I wasn’t ready for it. I think I was never ready and telling you… hurting you was beyond me. I couldn’t.

-          So you lead me on for months, because that wouldn’t hurt me. I guess you were wrong.

absolute

Truth is i don’t know if there is anything absolute in this world anymore.

I used to think that honesty was, that telling the truth was one of the most important things in the world.

But that’s just true in theory.

One day grow up and realize that life is really complicated.

You realize that 1 + 1 isn’t 2.

Nothing is just right or wrong anymore.

There are only in-betweens.

our relationship

I'm sad because i can't understand our relationship.

Sometimes i feel like we're friends.

Sometimes I feel like we're more than friends but sometimes i feel like I'm just a stranger to you.

one more night

If you miss me too, then come to me.

I want one more night.

I want to sleep next to you one more time.

I want to feel your heartbeat.

I want your head on my chest and my arms around you.

I want to feel your skin against mine.

I want to pretend, for one night, that we didn't fuck it all up.

That you're still mine.

Bend the truth

Sometimes we're forced to bend the truth, transform it, cause we're faced with things that are not of our own making.
And sometimes things simply catch up to us."

Happiness takes time

the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise.
And happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.

the point of you

I'm just not getting what the point is here . 

I'm not sure i've ever gotten the point of you. 

We see each other every couple of years to talk ... about stuff we should be over by now. 

You don't know what I wouldn't give to have tired of you. 

Because this isn't worth what happens to me after you leave.

I want all of you

Fading

Trust

My daddy used to tell me

My daddy used to tell me that the first time you fall in love it changes your life forever. 
And no matter how hard you try, the feeling never goes away.
-The Notebook

Time to change

Take a step back from your life and tell me that if you died today, would you be happy?
If not, its time to change that, don't you think?

He's a good guy

He's a good guy.
I'm not just saying that because i like him.
I've known him for a long time.
He's one of those rare men who, when he loves he does it with his heart. 

Different in many ways

He was tall and she was short. 
He was outgoing and she was shy. 
He was handsome, but man, she was beautiful. 
They were different in many ways, but it was how they came together when no one was looking that caught them off guard.

Alcohol vs love

Whatever it was we 'had'

I regret a number of things in my life; things that if i could i would go back and do it differently but you aren't on of them. 
Whatever it was we 'had' or didn't have for that matter, i do not regret it. 
I wish we weren't where we are right now.
And it would have been nice if something came out of it... but i don't regret it. 

Follow your heart

Follow your heart.
It rarely leads you astray. 
It’s thinking that gets us into trouble.

The best love stories

The best love stories are the ones we didn't have the time to have, because they stay fantasies.
It's just the idea of them that we remember.
In our hearts they stay what we wanted them to be.
They are the best ones cause they weren't confronteted to the reality, the reality of the other.
The reality that hurts and causes the things we had imagined to destroy us.

the bond we shared

I kinda miss the bond we shared. I mean, who wouldn't miss that comfortable feeling with a person?
Where we could talk for hours about everything, anything, and not have a problem with the silence in the middle. 
Can't forget all the ridiculous stuff we did. 
Stupid or not, everything was just so fun. 
Endless nights, real talks, the "remember whens", I remember it all. 
And it's funny what life does, how it could just give you things and take it away so soon. 
I really can't get it out of my head that you grow distant from people and that good things come to an end sooner or later. 
But along the way, I learned one good thing about life; it goes on, you just gotta pick yourself up and learn to keep up.

wasting our time

I can tell you this: we're wasting our time losing our sleep on things we think we've missed.

I stopped missing you

I love you and I probably always will. 
But we go days without having meaningful conversations. 
And I used to miss you so much when that happened, but it never seemed like you missed me, and I guess because of that, I stopped missing you.
-OTH-

staring at people sitting at a stop light

I love staring at people sitting at a stop light. 
Even though it may seem rude, you can learn a lot about people within that 10 second range that you are with them. 
They're confidence, or lack of it, shines through at that very moment they realize you're looking at them; for they can either look away or they can stare right back at you & hold that gaze until the light changes green.

when you look back

You know when you finally get over someone and then you look back on them like a month or a year later and you think like wow I was so stupid? 
Or you talk with your best friends about past crushes and everyone laughs at all the boys they've liked in their past and you make fun of each other for all the stupid boys you liked? 
Well I'm really waiting for that moment with you.
I want to be over you and I want to be able to laugh and think how dumb I was for being hooked on you for so long.
I want to be able to brush it off and just move on. 
I can't wait for that moment.

the flame has died

Even if you think the flame has died, there's a least one lyric that'll hit that last hot spot.
Then you'll find yourself as fucked as you were the day you lied and said you never wanted to see him again.

what that feels like

You know that moment you feel when you wake up and realize you have more time to sleep? 
Or, when you accidentally overhear someone say something nice about you? 
Or when you see someone you like and your heart races? 
Or even when you reach a goal you set for yourself? 
Now, remember what that feels like - and next time you're upset, or sad, or crying - think about that feeling.

convince myself

I've convinced everyone else that I don't like you and that I don't love you anymore.
Now all I need to do is convince myself.

really loves you

When someone really loves you, they don't have to say it.
You can always know it by the way they treat you.

too much Fanta

If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic.
If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic?

stay in your life

The people who want to stay in your life will always find a way.

a broken heart

They say it's a broken heart, but I hurt in my whole body.

a kiss is not nothing

No, a kiss is not nothing, People don’t just kiss because they’re upset, people kiss because they have feeling for each other. 

keeping us numb

The money, the drugs, the privileges.
They’re just keeping us numb, so we don’t know it’s better out there in the real world.

I'm not who you thought

Well I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was, but what's happened is in the past, and all I can do is try to change.
If you can't accept that, then you're not who I thought you were.

what's more important

You have to decide what's more important to you: keeping your pride and getting nothing or taking a risk and maybe, maybe, having everything.

most dangerous enemies

But our most dangerous enemies are the ones we never knew we had.

holding on to the pain

We're holding on to the pain because it's all we have left.
We don't have to.
We have a choice.

Life is tough

Life is tough girl.
Get a helmet.

those escape-moments

I used to have those escape-moments, you know?

 Like when you're with someone or something and you just forget it all.

You forget all the heartache and you just don't feel that awful pain inside your chest for a second.

And just for a moment that smile wasn't fake.

 I used to have those moments once in a while.

Until the day you left. 

spare me more pain

So that's it?
You left me to spare me more pain?
You didn't even let us talk it over cause you knew if we'd talk you'd have changed your mind?
Oh please get over yourself!
This ain't one of those films.
You can't just tell me that leaving me was the hardest thing you've ever had to do.
You left with no explanation, remember?
You! Not me!
So don't come with your sweet smile and your lovely eyes a few years later when i ask for explanations.
I can't do this.
I was hurt and i know you're too sweet to tell me we were doomed from the start.
Please just go away.

getting over you process

If there’s anything I’ve learned in this whole getting over you process, it’s that you’re always going to mean something to me no matter what happens.

You’re always gonna be somewhere deep down inside me.

Even when I’m happily married to the man of my dreams, if I were to run into you on the street and those gorgeous eyes were to meet mine, my heart would skip a beat because I’ll never forget you and the way you made me feel.

never were quite real

I idealize you, i idealize us cause we never were quite real.
We were just an idea hanging in the air.
The attraction was there, the conversations were great.
So please let's try this.
Let's just give it a try so that we don't have to wonder what could have been.
Cause that's what's killing me.
That's what making me think we were perfect for each other when really we didn't even have two days in the same city.
So please.
Can we?
Just for a day.

Pretend we were three years back?

if you were here

It’s still there, you know?

I can be totally happy and still have that part of my mind wondering how much better it would be if you were here.

I don't think that's ever really going to change 

trigger memories

It's funny how certain things trigger memories.
Songs, smells and such.
Some make you sad, some make you close your eyes & for that one moment you are captured in the past.

secrets

We all have our own secrets that we keep from everyone.
Even our best friends.

Everybody gets older

Everybody gets older but not everybody grows up.

Lesson learned

Rabbits jump & they live for 8 years.
Dogs run & they live for 15 years. Turtles don't do anything & they live for 150 years.
Lesson learned.

Childhood

Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

never take a bullet

I'd never take a bullet for anyone.

If I have enough time to hop in the way, your ass has enough time to move out the damn way.

looked at your friends

Ever looked at your friends & thought, why the heck aren't we comedians yet?

The best revenge

The best revenge is to show them that your life is moving forward even though they left it

pleasing everyone is impossible

I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell.

You're not my friend

Oh, just stop
it. You're not my friend.

We never
were.                                    

Besides
friends don't look at each other like we do. 

a fraction of what i desire

Joanna: "you really touch me whenever you feel like it
don't you?"

Alex:: "no i
don't. I touch you a fraction of how often i'd like to"

when you were miles away

There are things i'd like to tell you some but i know they'd hurt you.
I'd like to tell you about all those boys.
They meant nothing compared to you but they were here when you were miles away.

we've changed

Let's face it... we've changed. 

We all changed. 

Somewhere between summer ending and school
starting, 

we've all gone in our own directions.

 Hearts were
broken, friends diminished, new love started and new people came into our
lives. 

We no longer spend all of our time in our circle of
friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed --
some for the better, some for the worse. 

Some of us are finding love and others are trying
to let go.

Even though we've changed, we all know that even
though we're all finding our own place in the world, that when we find out
love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall, or the happy smile spreads
across our face... we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy
world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much to
the point that we're not all friends forever.