makeshift-puzzle: 12.11

Friday

clean break

A clean break is easier.

You can reset it, and it heals, and you move on.

But if you leave things messy.

Or things don't get put right, then it just hurts. . . forever.

Can't be

If you can't understand why we can't be just friends, if you can't understand that...then you don't understand me.

We got some real good memories with each other.
There are things I hold close to my heart, and know I'll cherish always, because they were times spent with you.
Maybe it wasn't all wonderful, but what is?
I had tears, yes, but that's okay, because I had you; I had laughs; I had love.

we ended it

We ended it.
I wanted to tell you, but a part of me thought that if I didn't say it out loud, then it wouldn't be true.
It was my birthday wish for us to get back together, but now, I think it's really over.

I've learned

I've learned from my mistakes and I've made a promise to myself:
I won't live in the past.
I've been affected by your lies and I've let them hold me back.
I wasn't thinking for myself.
I wasn't living for myself.
What I have in my heart I'll take to my grave

I'll get over it

oh I'll get past the what was
one of these days

Did I love him?

After we made love I knew it was over.
Did I ever really love him or was I addicted to the pain.
The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable?

not holding you

I guess I just want you to know that I'm not going to hold you to anything we've said in the past.
I want you to live your life and be happy and enjoy everything that goes along with that.

love of my life

There was a time where I thought of you as the love of my life.

Things change.

we were a lie

Even though I kinda knew we were a lie, it was like a pain reliever. I mean the pain was still there, but I didn't feel it for awhile.

Nobody's perfect

I hate that I made you think
That the trust we had is broken
Don't tell me you can't forgive me
'Cause nobody's perfect

Time of our lives

Then you came in and you would say we would sees the day.
And that all worries would fade away.

We would meet some guys with the best hairstyles.

We would have the time of our lives.

I misbehaved

I know i misbehaved and you made your mistakes

Though love sometimes hurts

I still put you first

we'll make this thing work

But I think we should take it slow

never meant to hurt you

But I never meant to hurt you

I know it's time that I learned to

Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved

Do you enjoy being hurt

I just don't get it

Do you enjoy being hurt?

I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt

You don't believe his stories

You know that they're all lies

Mad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why

Hopes and dreams

You blew my hopes and dreams away
And there is not a single day
I don't fear the worst because of you

He wasn't

He was not my boyfriend.

On the other hand, he wasn't just a friend either.

Instead, our relationship was elastic, stretching between those two extremes depending on who else was around, how much either of us had to drink, and other varying factors.

This was exactly what I wanted, as commitments had never really been my thing.

And it wasn't like it was hard, either.

The only trick was never giving more than you were willing to lose.

Parents & kids

All parents damage their children.

It cannot be helped.

Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers.

Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.

Too short

Dear girls,

Your dress is too short when you don’t need to pull it up to go to the bathroom.

The pain grew

I wish I could I could have quit you.
I wish I never missed you,
And told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you.
The future that we both drew and all the shit we've been through.
Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew!
How could you do this to me?
Look at what I made for you, it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you.
I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked up.

Selfish

We were both selfish, but I think I was more
I would like to thank you, for showing me
A part of myself that I have never seen
Yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun
And I guess these things just tend to fall apart

It was real

It was real, wasn't it?

You and me.

Such a long time ago, we were just a couple of kids.

But we really loved each other, didn't we?

I think I fell

I think I fell in love with her, a little bit.

Isn't that dumb?

But it was like I knew her.

Like she was my oldest, dearest friend.

The kind of person you can tell anything to, no matter how bad, and they'll still love you, because they know you.

I wanted to go with her.

I wanted her to notice me.

And then she stopped walking.

Under the moon, she stopped.

And looked at us.

She looked at me.

Maybe she was trying to tell me something; I don't know.

She probably didn't even know I was there.

But I'll always love her.

All my life.

hate myself

"I hate myself pretty often".

She tilted her face back on the pillow, damning tears and attempting so smile at the same time.
"Pretty fucking often”

Gave you everything

All that I know is that you don't just give up on people like that.

This was an all or nothing deal and you gave me nothing.

But I gave you everything.

All of me.

Does he?

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Oh, does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried you smoke too many cigarettes.

To have someone

And it's great to have somebody that you know so well that you don't even have to verbalize what you're thinking most of the time.

The other person just gets it, picks up on it. And it's like that with us.

It's great, and I like it, but it's not love

Were is this going?

Where is this going?
I don't have a heartache without you.
I never stop what i'm doing just to call you.
we never see each other and it doesn't bother us.
i guess sometime this year we just lost each other.
we learned to live without it.
we didn't need each other.

All day

I don't think about you all day long.
just when i'm alone.
those moments when i have nothing to distract me.
mostly at night.I think of what we could have been.

Disney

Disney didn't give me unrealistic expectations of love.
it gave me high expectations for hair.

You left

you left me remember?
So don't come here judging me.
I make no apologies for how I choose to repair what you broke.

Leave him

Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on.
Take a look around, you could have anyone.
So leave undeserving him.
It only hurts at first.
But then you will find someone to give you everything you want.
Try not to go running back to him.